- convinced that all straight girls feel at the very least some attraction to ladies
- convinced that your desire for seeing appealing women/scantily clad women/boobs can be a reaction that is artificial by the objectification of females in media
- Thinking you’re simply a brilliant intense feminist for genuinely reasoning women can be amazing and achieving an overwhelming choice due to mature anal play their business
- Being actually into just just how females look “aesthetically”/“just as artistic interest”/“fashion goals”
- Thinking it is objective and uncontested that nearly all women can be much more attractive than many guys
- Being an extremely intense LGBT+ “ally” and getting weirdly psychological about homophobia but assuming you’re simply a very Good Ally and v empathetic
- Having like half your buddy team from college grow to be LGBT+
- Getting psychological or having a solid effect you don’t realize to f/f love tales etc.
- Having had individuals think you had been homosexual whenever you had no suspicion you’re homosexual
Checking out attraction to ladies
- Experiencing in the man’s position or just never/rarely imagining yourself in the woman’s position
- Really focusing on the women in het porn
- Being really into the idea of kissing/being sexual with a woman ‘to turn guys on’
- Being really annoyed when guys actually do express interest in watching or joining in when you do that
- Only feeling/expressing attraction to or sexual interest in women when you’re inebriated or otherwise impaired like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman
- Feeling like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman
- Thinking you couldn’t be a lesbian because you’re not attractive enough, cool enough, or otherwise in the same league as most of the women you know
- Interacting with het sex/romance in media by imagining yourself
Gender emotions
- Having plenty of conflicting sex emotions being just possible to solve once you understand you are/can be described as a lesbian
- convinced that being gnc and feeling a disconnect from traditional womanhood mean as a woman, but being totally comfortable with the idea of other women seeing you as one of them
- Knowing you’re attracted to women, but feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable trying to interact with them as a straight man, and only later realizing you’re actually a trans lesbian
- Knowing you’re gay, but feeling like you’re struggling against comp het stuff – discomfort, obligation, fear, disinterest, self-objectification, etc. – when you try to interact with men romantically/sexually, and only later realizing you’re a trans lesbian and not a gay man
- Being nonbinary and taking a long time to sort through being able to respect/understand your nonbinary identity and your lesbianness at the same time that you can’t be a woman even if that’s what feels closest to right – many lesbians are gnc and many lesbians feel disconnected from traditional womanhood since it’s so bound up in heteropatriarchy
- Knowing you’re attracted to women and not being able to parse that (esp + any gender nonconformance) as gay, taking a long time to figure out if you’re a straight man or a lesbian
- Being dysphoric about the parts of you that make straight men think your body is owed to them, having to figure out what that dysphoria means for/to you
- Wishing straight people and/or men didn’t parse you
Considering lesbianism
- attempting to be a lesbian but feeling like if you don’t know already you will be one you can’t be
- Feeling alienated from all of the male-gazey impractical depictions of lesbians as only being young slim rich white cis abled conventionally attractive sex conforming right actresses in tv/movies/porn and convinced that alienation means you can’t be homosexual
- Discovering that your particular kind is gnc females or ladies who share your underrepresented demographic and that is why you’re certainly not drawn to superstars
- perhaps not experiencing drawn to right ladies but abruptly having a lot of crushes whenever you understand without a doubt certain ladies are bi/gay
- experiencing responsible about planning to be described as a lesbian, feeling like you’re simply attention-seeking or wanting to be fashionable
- curbing your lesbian desires as you think exploring that desire will mean you’re a bad/homophobic individual making use of lesbianness selfishly
- Wishing you’re a lesbian to flee the vexation of dating men
- Fantasizing about how precisely much enjoyable it will be to become a lesbian and simply be with women/a certain girl, but convinced that can’t be for your needs
- stressing that a few of your previous attraction to males was actually genuine so that you can’t be a lesbian
- Worrying that bc you can’t be 100% certain you’re perhaps not drawn to males and can’t be 100% certain you won’t improve your head, you can’t be considered a lesbian
- Worrying which you just wish to be a lesbian as a result of traumatization and therefore means your lesbianness will be Fake
- Worrying that trauma-induced problems in the way you experience intercourse (age.g., a practice of self-harming via sex w guys or perhaps a fear of/lack of great interest in almost any intercourse at all) suggest you’re maybe not an actual Lesbian
Every product with this list is frequent among genuine Lesbians. It is all Lesbian that is normal Stuff. That you can’t be a lesbian even though it’s the life you really want for yourself, I hope this gives you permission to explore that if you’re worried. You’re permitted to be a lesbian.
Of course you took the time to read this entire thing because you’re curious about your identity, if you identified with a bunch of items on this list – you may or may not be a lesbian, but friend, you almost certainly aren’t cishet if you’re not sure yet. Welcome.
(I’d love to hear other activities lesbians desire you’d understood had been anything once you were first checking out your identification! )